I was extremely fortunate to have a fantastic first trimester. I remember some headaches and being tired, but nothing out of the norm. I kept waiting for something really bad to happen, or for me to be nonstop sick or unable to do certain things, but if anything, I felt very clearheaded, serene, alive, very calm, peaceful and collected. It was kind of a welcome change from my usual, and I understand why some women absolutely love being pregnant.

After a while, I realized that all of the positive affirmations were actually making me spiral in the other direction. I found this in yoga to be true as well - sometimes going as extreme as possible pushes me too far and as a human, I need to dial it back to be rational and to manifest just the right amount and not overdo it. I was lucky to have a strong partner that would listen to me/let me bitch/hear me out, and as soon as I vented, I often felt better. So we sat. We watched. We waited. We prayed. I kept working and kept the minutes, hours, days added together without further incident. I was manifesting the little baby that could.